an open letter to my iphone

Dearest iPhone, 

I have a problem. And it's not that I can't iMessage my best friends, message them on Facebook, or tweet at them. It's not that I can't call up my best friend to gossip. It's not that I can't snapchat bizarre faces to my equally bizarre comrades or instagram my beautiful pictures. It's not that I can't use the wonderfully fast LTE network to surf the web, check my email, or find out the latest news, not that I can't check the weather about the incoming winter blast or see the forecast for the next week, that I can't use Wikipedia to remember a fact I can't remember. Not that I can't use maps to find directions back home, check movie times on Yahoo, not that I can't ask Siri how to factor (x^3 - y^3), not that I can't talk to Siri like she's a friend. Not that I can't kill time with Tiny Wings, Temple Run, or Angry Birds. Not that I can't challenge my friends to a game of Ruzzle or Words with Friends. Not that I can't listen to my favorite music on Pandora or Spotify. Not that I can't look up funny cat videos on YouTube, check my grades on Infinite Campus, pin a picture onto Pinterest. Not that I can't do all of things. No, that's not the problem. 

The problem is that I can do all those things. #sleepdeprivediphoneaddictedteenager

Jessie